To the editor,

As we all know, the press now distinguishes between the “red” and the “blue” pandemics, indicating how Republicans and Democrats, respectively, tend to deal with its on-going carnage, whether economically or medically. Now bringing to mind the following major Badger news story, of maybe 30 years yore, of an incident in northern Wisconsin. Simply told. Perhaps now illustrative of what I’ve mentioned.

A gent had a hunting cabin that he used during good weather. But, in bad weather, he shuttered it. Thus, it was easy pickings for any would-be thief. Indeed! Because, over the course of many years, he always came back to his cabin to find that it had been broken into. To find what he had come to expect.  

But he had had quite enough! So, what’s a Red to do? Rig a loaded shotgun, that’s what! And thang went according to Hoyle! The next intruder got his due, perhaps – shot, but not fatally. And he was able to make his way, back to a highway, with his own hue marking his path in the snow to be rescued.

OK, a happy ending, for some, but that ain’t the tale’s end.

Lots of criminal charges were brought in this case. (And, Dear Reader, if you yourself are of the blue hue, you’ve already gotten way ahead of me! Congratulations!) The obvious charges brought against the would-be thief aside – once healed up, he began serving a stiff jail sentence – the cabin owner was also convicted of something akin to using deadly force in the protection of mere property. Getting an even stiffer sentence! (Did you get that? “Mere property”! Anyway, that’s what it used to be called!)

Well, to continue, there’s lots o’ Red in them thar northern Wisconsin hills! And, needless to say, when It got that news, it twar up-in-arms. And It reminded the rest of us of that unqualified, unelected judge, and of the fact that, had that scum not chosen to break the law, well, etc., etc. (Read: That cabin owner was a hero! Geez! Don’t our God-given Second Amendment mean nuthin?)

Now, let’s see. Where was I? Oh, yes. I was trying to explain the difference between Americans of two distinct political hues. But did I succeed?

Dick Behling

Cottage Grove

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